Edward Cullen

I have slowly become completely and utterly obsessed with the Twilight series. When I first heard about the books, I thought it was the stupidest thing I've ever heard. A book about vampires? really? But then I decided I should at least see what it's all about. I'm not really one for fantasy novels, but oh my goodness, this was one of THE greatest books I've ever read. I finished it in a record 2 days! I now find myself wishing I lived in a world of Edward Cullens. I also took my loser-ish-ness to the next level and bought the rest of the series! I shall keep you updated!

Today was just like any other. The only perk being that I didn't need to wake up at an ungodly hour to get ready for school. I got to sleep a little bit longer, which after that crazy night of reading, was much needed. I found myself debating whether or not I wanted to get out of bed. It was freezing outside, and my bed was oh so warm. But, I decided I should probably fight the morning, and get up anyways. Drove to school and nearly fell asleep in both of my classes, but I was pretty pleased with myself that I actually got up and went.

After school went to Target to pick up a couple of things including, my Vampire book set. haha. Came home, worked on some math homework, and endulged myself in some reading. I made some Hamburger Helper for dinner. It was delicious. I'm thinking I'm going to get started on the second book before bed. I can't even describe what happens to me when I read a good book. Its probably the greatest feeling in the world. I, for a brief moment in time, escape reality and find myself sitting front row in this story. (oh my gosh, could that statement sound anymore cliche)

Puffy

My nose is mysteriously swollen on the right side. I wish I could say I was in some sort of bar fight or school yard rumble, but I wasn't at all.... which makes me a little unsure about this whole thing.

I shall keep you updated. I'm hoping I don't form some sort of mutated Michael-Jackson type thing. Because, that would be rather unfortunate.

P.S. I had the greatest weekend ever with Taylor and Alaina! They are the best. And they always always always know how to make me feel right at home when I'm with them. We saw High School Musical 3. It was wonderous. I have a feeling I'm going to be buying that soundtrack quite soon. (no matter how lame that might be). After that we headed over to the Bowman house. Nothing beats a little Bowman action. And finally ended up at Trinity where we had a crazy college party.... ok it wasn't crazy... and it wasn't really a party... but we did play "marry date or dump" and that alone makes for a good time. All in all. Good weekend. It's about time!

P.S.S. Someone please give Vanessa some pants. I don't think she understands that it's ok to be clothed.

Heart Abandoned

I think what I need is a good cry.

I feel so discouraged tonight.

I wish that I could say there was a reason for it, but there really isn't one in particular. The whole world just seems to be weighing me down at the moment. Ugh, when will there be relief. I keep living everyday in hope. But I'm so tired of living for tomorrow. I want for once to be able to fully live for today. I feel lost.

I long to be led, but I'm constantly in a fight to lead. I don't know what happened to the days of complete relience on the Lord, but they seem so far away. My selfishness and stubborness have gotten me nowhere. My guilt and shame keep rising. I don't like where I am. I don't want to sink any further into the muck and myer. I've fought this endless battle for so long, but the truth always presides. I need help. As much as I hate to admit it, I can't do it alone.

I was so silly to think that running away from Him would make things better. If I ran far enough He would forget about me for the time being and focus on someone else. I was so wrong. The farther I ran, the louder I heard His voice. He clenched my soul and wouldn't let go. And deep down, I long to be close to Him again. I always have.

So here I am.

Let's start again.

Endless Summer

Sitting at my kitchen table, working on some homework and staring out into my prairie/backyard. (its strange I know... visual below), and all I can say is, Summer is still here! haha. The Lord must be dreading winter just as much as I am! It's October and we're still having 75 degree days. That is crazy for Chicago! I'm definitly gonna enjoy it while I still can!

Random story of the day- Ran to the grocery store with my mom the other night. It was like 10ish and all we wanted was something sweet. Thank goodness for 24 hour stores! Threw on a hoodie and shorts, this of course accented my greasy hair pulled back in a pony tail, and poorly painted toe nails. I ended up running into an old friend of mine. I hadn't seen him since last year. Whenever I would run into him at this store, he would politely stop, give me that 'I haven't seen you in forever' hug and update me on his life since the last time we talked. This time was a little different. I don't know if it was the grease stains he aquired from his other job as a mechanic, the sweet smelling aromas of the cookie dough that we were soon to bake, or the un-godly hour of the night that it had become, but he looked good. ha I found myself being so strangely attracted to him in a way that I never had before. I'm sure my mom could notice the excessive amount of blushing, and my inability to follow the conversation. I was so relieved when he said he should get back to work. and I left thinking to myself "what the heck just happened?." haha It was strange to say the least. But I refuse to analyze this any further. I'm still going with the cookie dough theory.

: )

She gon' bag us a buck!

I don't know what happened from one month ago to now, but here are my observations:

1. Teachers are oh so smitten with you in the month of September, until October... that is when they take off their Miss Honey (Matilda reference) mask, and pull you back down to reality, which is full of homework and the much anticipated no life until May.

2. I very much so dislike when teachers assign papers and projects that are due months from the day they give it. Is this really necessary? I suppose if I had a homework fetish of some sort, this would be fantastic, but alas... like the other 99% of the student body, I do not. All this seems to do is create worries about when I'm going to get it done.

3. I'm a procrastinator. It's genetic.

4. I seem to have lost much contact with the outside world.

5. Why am I making a list? I'm not going grocery shopping.

haha. Although this all sounds terrible, I really can't complain. God is good, and that's all that matters. Number 4 really has been on my heart a lot lately though. I really do miss seeing the people that make me smile. I think not seeing them has put a little damper on my spirits lately. All in time I'm sure.

And for your enjoyment....

1. Teacher Transformation

2. a video of my mother shooting a gun for the first time.